To Be A Slave
by Impulsive Coldest Halfling
Summary: Being a mutant isn't easy. Being a teenage isn't easy. Nicole has a mission to find the man whom she believes ruined her life. When she finally finds a place to call home everything comes crashing down when a mutant war seems to break free. Can she help restore some balance along with finishing her mission? Oc contents.
1. Chapter 1

**Ah yes. Totally re-wrote my x-men fanfic. I hope that this time I will actually remember to finish it.**

**I only own Nicole.. . Oii.. How I hated how Mary-sue-ish she was. Derp. Hopefully that is fixed now. Actually I'm pretty sure it is. YAY!**

**ONWARDS!**

**Marvel owns X-men and yada yada. :)**

* * *

My mother smiled as she stared at the road stretched out in front of our car. She said we were going on a trip. Her smile vanished, in front of us was a man. He snarled. He came closer to the car to rip her door from the car. She was torn out but he smirked back at me. The car flipped. Fire came from nowhere engulfing the car in heat. A new figure came he was sweaty with a expression of strict concern.

"P-papa?" My throat felt constricted. The air was so clouded by smoke I felt myself gag with each breath I tried to inhale.  
"Nicole!" He ran over to my hugging me tightly to him; I started crying.  
"What happened?"  
"I don't know! He attacked me and Momma and and-!"  
"Shh its okay Nicole calm down."  
"But Papa where's Momma!" He never answered me...he told me that I had to stay with my friend... that was the last time I ever saw him. He left me, at age six alone and scared. I grew up with my friend but each day I grew more and more cold. I didn't care about finding my father anymore. He died that day my mother did.

My head pounded as I woke up in a cold sweat. The dreams of my past seemed to be coming back more. I flipped of the covers walking into the bathroom across the hall from my room.

"Nicky time for school, are you ready?" I now lived with my Aunt who could be my mother's twin. The same bright smile tagged with her bright blue eyes.

"No I will be soon! Thanks Auntie." I call crossing into the bathroom to comb down my hair. Breathing slowly I watch my arm go through the motions of brushing out my brown locks. Carefully my violet eyes blink watching my teeth being brushed. Sometimes my body likes to move on its own just taking me through the motions that I have to do daily.

I could hear my aunt's voice become louder, "Don't forget your going to Xavier's today."

"What!" I bolted from the bathroom and down stairs to face my Aunt. "I don't have to go anywhere! I can control my powers fine!" She shouldn't look as calm as she does and her face remains with a soft smile on it. This poor woman having to deal with a mutant.

"It's not just the powers…It's your anger. You almost made the guy jump from the school rooftop. I think he can help you." She said crossing her arms over her chest.

"For the last time I don't need-" I began but she holds up her hand to stop me. Her mouth makes a thin line her eyes casing over to the side.

"He knows where you might find Victor."

My body stiffens with the disgust I had flooding my body now. After years of looking for him, day in and day out of my feelings forgotten. I felt tears threaten to flood out I shook it off. "How?" My voice was shaky. My own tracking abilities were lazy clearly untrained by anyone causing me to stumble through the whole thing clumsily.

"There is someone who might be able to help you."A woman's voice made me jump as I turned to look at a stranger. She was tall with long red hair.

"My name is Jean and I'll be going with you back to Xavier's." She gives me a smile but it has no warmth behind it almost as if it was forced.

My eyes refuse to tear themselves away because something about this woman holds me. Soon I shake her gaze away looking back up at my aunt who hasn't moved. Both of her hands are wringing themselves around a towel as she looks at a picture on the wall. My body turns ever so slowly towards the stairs before I jog back up them. I dig through my closest to find a deep forest green suitcase. I begin pulling on jeans, black tank top and covered it with a jean jacket. I slid in more clothes from pants to shirts, some socks and a picture of my family. Slowly I tug the zipper to seal it up. I quickly jog downstairs as I see a bald man along with the strange blonde woman. I blink then set my bag down walking over.

"Erm, excuse me?" I ask crossing my arms over my chest and leaning my body against the wall next to me.

"Why, hello Nicole." The man said; His eyes melted into me as I sunk back farther against the wall.

"_Are you scared?"_

I blink scanning around before staring back at him. I narrow my eyes before breaking my eye lock with him to look at my aunt "How is he doing that?" I demand.

"_I can read your thoughts and put mine into your mind. It's simple really. My name is Charles Xavier."_

My body shifts as I face him again and smile despite my sweaty palms. "_That's pretty wicked." _

"Jean and I have come to take you back to my school. If that is alright with you." he faced me as my aunt gave me a look then smiled her nervous smile. She uses that when she really isn't sure how she feels about something. I nod then tilt my head lightly to one side.

"This will be good for you Nicole… I want you to go where you don't feel like an outsider." My aunt said.

I can be with people like myself now. With no one calling me a freak or picking on the color of my eyes anymore. I sling my bag over my shoulder and follow the two out. Jean turns and smiles, her hair framing her face perfectly.

"I guess you already know who I am huh?" I bit my lip before rubbing the back of my head. She smiles and walks onto a jet- A jet? They flew here?

"_Yes, we flew here. It seems must faster than driving."_

I rub my head before walking on my boots lightly tapping against the melt floor. The jet is huge but I begin to debate on how they got it out here. I'm suddenly glad we live in the middle of nowhere. My head turns back watch my aunt stand out on the porch her body leans against the rail. This is my house… With the forest blocking us off from the rest of the world but it's never been home.

"Professor you've really have to stop doing that!" I warn lightly before sitting down in a chair and strapping on a seat belt. My stomach was flipping again as I yawn and shut my eyes. Everything lightly goes black.

"_Papa! Papa! Come back! Don't leave me please don't! No...Papa! Please! Come back!"_ A little girl is reaching for me...her hands and body shaking. I know her. She is crying and there they are. Missy is standing right behind that little girl; Me. She is hugging me telling me it will all be okay. I knew back then what I know now...It won't ever be okay...

"Nicole," My shoulder has weight on it now. I open my eyes, Jean comes into view- Is she always smiling? "We're here. It's late though so let me show you to your room and tomorrow I'll introduce you to the team."

"Sounds like a plan." I smile and undo the seat belt standing up. Ohh...Ouch! I make a small circle with my arm and sling my bag over my shoulder again. Cold air flows around as I look around the hanger. Your normal hanger I guess. Black and made of all metal.

"Right now we are under the school, down here is the Danger room and other rooms like our hospital wing." Jean explains as we walk down the halls. Even if we are inside it feels like night time. I yawn again. "Now these elevators are all over the school and most of the time you can find them quite easily. Now if there ever is a time that you have to get out we have escape roots hidden. I'll make sure Remy shows them to you; Perhaps Peter."

"Alright." I answer while we step into the elevators. I'm not shocked they're only 3 floors.

"Now, the next floor is where most of the classrooms and kitchens are. We have two kitchens and two dining rooms. Of course the highest floor is where the rooms all are." She smiles as the doors open. The hall way is full of doors it kind of looks like a hotel. Jean is talking about how the classes work around here, how I'm going to have to get fitted for some outfit. I can smell so many different things around here. Mmmm? Aftershave, pine forest mist… and beer. I stop looking around quickly. My eye's narrow there is a scent lingering in this place. It reeks of him…

"Nicole? Your room is right here." Jean opens the door. I tiptop over laying my bag down next to the door as I flop down onto the bed shutting my eyes. He's here… is here...I think...maybe I'm just losing my mind right now...Maybe… This room is so clean and quite…

A loud hammering sound rattles through my sleep almost like its clashing through the walls. I jolt up to a brightly lit room. There is a desk, a smaller door and a small table on the side of my bed. The walls are a light tan color balancing out the bright red sheets on the bed. My legs slid from the bed I note my boots still covering up my feet. Straightening up I try to get the stiffness from my back but the loud knocking sound repeats.

"Come in?" I say loudly.

The door opens as two males walk in. One was huge with a well toned body and short dark hair where the one next to him was smaller and long lighter hair.

"Hey chere" The smaller grins his arms folding over his chest.

"You must be Nicole," The bigger one said "I am Peter."

I smile and nod as I stand up. I walk up shaking his hand as the other one looks me up and down.

The other one leans down kissing my hand. Wow. "Name's Remy Lebeau. And ya' are?" He grins and slides back against the door frame. I raise an eye brow before biting my lip.

"Call me Nicole, Romeo." I try my best to smile. Peter just rolls his eyes stepping past Remy.

"Forgive him. Has a problem… We we're sent to help you get around." Peter says with a gentle smile but I shake my head.

"I've heard but I really want to just take a look alone… If that is alright."

The two just nod their heads and take their leave back down the hallway. I watch them until they round the corner. Carefully I turn out into the wall my shoulder colliding with something solid.

"Pardon me there fraulein," A tall male with strange colored eyes smiled down at me. I blink scanning up and down his body. He has sharp facial features with a small nose. He is kind of attractive but judging from his demeanor my stomach clutches.

"I'm Nicole," I tilt my body looking behind him "Are you a teacher here?" I ask smiling a bit. He smells odd.

"No no! I'm a student!" He chuckles and suddenly he looks years younger. He's black hair shifts from one side to the other as I nod.

"I see, what's your mutation?" I ask holding my arms behind my back leaning my body towards him. My heels rock back and forth for a point.

"teleportation." He says matter-o-factly before he smiles lightly stepping back away from me. My face contorts both eyebrows rising. Is there something wrong with me?

"I won't bite!" I snap twisting as there was a loud BAMF sound a sudden smell of smoke fills the air for a brief second as he appears inches from my face. My feet stumble away both hands lifting up nearly hitting him. "Okay, maybe I bite just a bit." I mumble relaxing.

He has a childish grin on as he turns and faces me his body completely relaxed as well. I giggle before sniffing the air. I turn in a circle almost expecting to see 'him' at the end of the hall. Why was his scent all over this school? Victor was at an age to be too old to attend here besides with his criminal past he couldn't teach here…

"What's your name?" I ask calmly as he gives me curious look before answering.

"Kurt," He smiles as

"That's a nice.." A short tingle floods my body. My eyes make the whole room go dim. Don't lose it. Don't lose it...DON'T LOSE IT NICOLE! I scream in my head but it's too late his eye's look blank and empty with no soul...He'll do whatever I want…

"_Nicole come and see me right now." _Professor's voice sounds calm but it has an edge on it. I can feel my heart beat throughout my whole body even my finger tips...every heart beat in his body is reflecting in me. Kurt, is now a slave. I hold his free will right in my hand...It feels powerful like I can do anything I want and truth is I can.  
I can kill anyone and most would think it was suicide. How wrong is that? I let go of his collar that my hands have somehow gotten a hold of and take a deep breath before I punch his arm as hard as I can; he's eyes flutter.

"Kurt, I'm," My voice cracks...never once have I felt so guilty about doing that but...what has Kurt done to me? "I'm really sorry. My powers are...dangerous."

"Like what fraulein?" He rubs his arm with his hand.

"I can control people and this," I hold up hand forcing my nails to grow in length. They extend then shrink back to normal size.

"You control people?" He tilted his head as if a few seconds ago never happened.

"Yes, a few seconds ago I had your mind...oddly enough I'm shocked you didn't even notice that. Could you show me to the professor's office?"

Without a word he nods and waves his hand as we walk. He rubs the back of his head staring forward trying to think I'm guessing.

"Few last moments we're fuzzy..." He's got thick accent is showing through, we turn the corner. A few students pass us one of them has spikes on her face; she gives me a nasty look as I roll my eyes.

"I'm really sorry about that Kurt; I will try to control them better…" I ask slowly as he continues down the stairs.

"We're all here to learn control." He replies.

"Yeah… I suppose so. It feels safe here." I comment moving right next to him.

"It is." He smiles to me then opens a door. There sitting at the window is Professor. He faces us and nods his head to Kurt.

"Thank you for leading young Miss Nicole here."

"Sure professor." Kurt waves and BAMF's off leaving a cloud of smoke in his place.. I smile before facing him and walking in shutting the door behind me.

"In my defense it wasn't my fault! I just go mad and luckily I didn't hurt him in the least!" I hurry through my words before spitting something out "I'!"(I'm starting to see that it might be my fault for being so mad at my dad)

"How it is yours?" He asks folding his hands in his lap.

"I..." I felt something run down my cheeks. "I cannot control my powers." I admit reaching up to wipe my tears away.

"Does it make you sad or angry?" He tone stays very calm.

"It makes me angry," I say wiping my eyes "And sad."

I could smell something-pine and beer. I jump up and run out into the hall...My heart flips into my stomach and yet I want to punch something hard...BASTARD. There he is standing in the hall.

"Logan." A voice said.

I keep breathing but nothing is calming down. Floods of people are between us but I can't stop looking at him. He isn't him but the scent is so close. I can smell Kurt from here, is he really talking to him? I walk through the crowd no one really holds my attention for long.

"Nicole, I 'vant you to come here." Kurt cheerfully said his body had materialized beside mine.

"Yeah whatcha need Kurt?" I ask folding my arms over my chest Logan is leaning on a nearby wall. When is wearing cowboy hats acceptable?

"This is Logan," Kurt has a smile as he gestures to him then faces Logan "And this is Nicole."

Logan scans me as I shift under his gaze before holding out my hand "Nice to meet you." I say through my teeth.

He keeps staring at me as I narrow my eyes at him. He looks at my hand then just nods "Yeah."

I grit my teeth gripping my hands in to tight fists by my sides. His scent drives me nuts because it matches with the same scent of him. The same earthy pine tree smell fluttering under his clothes that Victor had that night or was it because during him attacking there was a forest of pines. My eyes revert to staring at the floor counting the tiles around out feet.

"How do you know elf?" Logan crosses his arms over his chest. I look at Kurt scanning over his body slowly before blinking

"Elf?" I ask slowly looking over at Kurt who is now giving the floor a lot of interest. He was doing what I was doing but my anger melts into confusion.

"You never showed her?" Logan asks leaning up from the wall.

"Nah, sorry fraulein," Kurt looks at me before reaching down to his belt, I look around us. Empty all around us of course, I think class started or something. Okay I no longer feel safe...I hear a slight clicking sound as I turn back. There standing in Kurt's place is a blue looking male. He has pointy ears, a tail, yellow eyes...No that's Kurt? The blue teen is staring down trying to avoid my eyes. The tail behind him flicks from one side to the other.

"Your..." I lock eyes with Kurt before covering my mouth with my hand. I can place it but Kurt still has the same eyes along with the same facial features. He still looks fine to me but… "Blue," I say through my fingers.

Kurt gives me a light nod before stepping away a tail sways behind him. My head follows his tail as it sways from right to left. A smile cracks on my face through my fingers.

"I wish I was blue." I admit before stepping away and looking back at Logan, He is giving me an odd look.

"Why don't you two talk?" Charles voice makes me jump as Kurt nods happily. He touches my hand as I jump a little. Kurt has such a strange body, I note that his hand only has three fingers. I nod back at him but he is looking away with his hand held far away from mine. Logan shrugs before turning his body to the professor.

"I went back and nothing was there but a burnt down house." He sighs my heart flips into my stomach. Curiosity consumes me for a second but it vanishes.

"Maybe Miss Creed knows why," Professor gives me a look then faces Kurt "Kurt shouldn't you be in class?"

"Ja, Bye Nicole." He BAMF's leaving behind a bunch of smoke smell.

I face Logan as he scans me again. I cross my arms over my chest looking away. I have no idea what they are talking about because I have nothing to do with this guy but his scent still matches. I walk into the kitchen as I flip out the fridge and pull out a coke.

"So how is it that you know anything about me?" He asks sitting across from me at the island.

"I was actually hoping Professor would explain that to me..." I sigh before opening the coke and taking a sip.

"He mentioned we have someone in our past… That's the same." He grumbled.

"I used to live in Canada." My voice tails off. The bottle clanks to the counter when I set it down. "If you knew anyone there then…Maybe we do have a connection." My shoulders shrug.

"How about just tellin' me kid." He says adjusting in the seat.

"Telling you what? My whole life story? I mean what is your problem anyhow?" I say slowly; I have to choose what I say around him carefully. His scent still bugs me but he seems on a short leash with temper.

"Hmph." He shakes his head, his body moving forward more both of his arms on the table surface.

"Listen, I would go ahead and tell you my whole story but parts are missing from my memory..." I say succinctly. He is bugging me with this entire attitude problem he has going on. He leans back against the back of the seat his shoulders slumping.

"I see..." He

My heart sinks deep into my stomach for some reason as I lean down resting my chin on my palm. Logan seems honestly upset by something but I can't quite put a finger on it."Yeah, I could help you but it might take a while plus I've got class." I smile at the side of his head because he is busy looking out the window. "I knew a man Victor…" I say.

Logan is suddenly looking at me his eyes searching for something more but I just turn on my heels leaving my coke on the counter unfinished. Wondering down the hall I keeping walking until my arm knocks into someone. A sharp squeak comes from the girl I bumped. Quickly I wave out my hand,

"Geez… I'm sorry." I sigh looking at another blond girl. She has short bob with bright colored clothes on.

"It's okay." She smiles looking at me then extending her hand towards me. "My name is Alison."

"I'm Nicole." I give a small smile and reach my hand out shaking her hand. She nods dropping her hand and folding both arms over her chest.

"You look new. You have that whole 'new girl' thing going on about you. A little out of place." She notes almost right on the mark.

"Yeah well." I give another shrug unable to actually think of anything to say at this point. My eyes fall on something behind her, a picture of a forest.

"Logan!" Another female's voice booms. I turn to see her running over giving him a big hug. They broke into a friendly conversation as I nod my head to them.

"They get along well. He brought her here." Alison informs.

"That's very interesting." I smile. To be honest that is very interesting. Logan doesn't seem like the type to be very friendly with people.

"Hey listen… I'm going to go to lunch what to come?" Alison looks friendly enough to drive me a little nuts but I won't pass up someone to talk to.

"Sure." I answer and she just starts walking down the hall. The halls here are all so nice with a bunch of doors and pretty wooden design. It feels like a giant house but it's still just a house. My heels keep clicking along calming down the silent between us now.

"Soooo, What's your power?" Alison breaks it looking at me with her bright smile.

"Um…" I hold up my hand forcing my nails to extend from my fingers, it's like forcing a part of your part to grow… Feels like I have to concentrate on something that normally isn't in control. " I also have this power to control weaker minds… I can't really control it too well yet."

"That's why we're here right?"

"So I keep hearing." I mumble clearly my throat shortly afterwards. "What about you?"

"Check this out," She grins widely opening a hand to make a red light bloom from her hand. "Light show powers!" She laughs but I can't tell if she is joking or not.

"It's flashy." I try out a grin again until nearly running into someone else but he opens his mouth first.

"Whoa! Sorry." He just turns going inside quickly before I can really get a good look at him. Alison just giggles into her hands turning into a larger room. It's full of students all going through double doors then walking out through another one with trays of food. Honestly I'm not all that hungry right now. Alison points to a table where I see the brown hair girl sitting with Remy, Peter and another girl. This girl has short black hair.

"Those are my friends." She says nudging me with her elbow the heading out to get her own food. I inhale deeply through my nose then walk over lifting my hand slowly to give them all a wave.

"Hey Nicole." Remy says first patting the chair besides him, the brown hair girl gives him a sharp prod of her elbow into his side. She looks overly jealous.

"Hey Remy, Peter." I smile and sit down in the chair fiddling with the end of my shirt under the table.

"This chere, is Nicole. She's new here why don't cha' be nice." Remy gives her a charming smile. What a Casanova.

"I'm Jubilee." The girl with short black hair waves her fork in the air giving me a smile. The girl who elbowed Remy just gives me a look.

"I'm Rouge." She finally says giving me a short sour smile but I just smile back.

"So are you two dating?" A wave my finger between her and Remy as he responds by nearly spitting out his drink. She just looks away laughing at what I said.

"Not hardly." She groans rolling her eyes finally relaxing her icy demeanor a little. I slid down against the back of my chair listening to them talk about what they discussed in class. A cloud of smoke gathers outside the large glass wall on the other side of the 'cafeteria' . Kurt is standing outside talking to another blue person but this one is much hairy and larger.

"I'll see you guys later." I smile standing up from the table and crossing through the random crowds of students before pushing open the door. "Hey Kurt." I say as he jumps a little turning to look at me.

"Nicole." He gives me a soft smile as I cross over to stand near him. His tail keeps catching my attention.

"This is Beast." Kurt said with his odd accent.

"It's a pleasure to meet you." Beast said kindly I nod my head giving a slow smile once again. His attention returns to Kurt, as my eyes are caught by his darn tail again.

"We'll discuss this later then." Beast walks inside the cafeteria the sounds inside die down. Kurt's tail has a point on it…

"How do you like it here?" Kurt asks walking forward.

"I like it." I mumble following closely beside him. Finally my face relaxes from all of the smiling I've had to do today. I hate to be rude to these people but… I want to be alone.

"Must be overwhelming." Kurt makes me jump a little when I look at him. He is staring down at me as I roll my eyes.

"Of…" I begin to lie but I'm so tired right now. Tired of smiling and acting like this isn't overwhelming. Everyone here is nice and friendly. I just can't get a grip of why I'm here. My mother once told me that I was a mutant… She told me when we were laying out on a blanket in the front yard staring at the clouds rolling above. She had taken a hold of my hand so tight it hurt but she looked at me with such sadness. 'It's going to be hard for you in the future baby.' I had no idea that she meant I'd be called a freak when I got older or that I would force a boy to climb onto the roof before he nearly jumped off.

"I understand." He said shocking me again. I just look down at where we were, surrounded by nice grass so I just park it. He sits besides he looking upwards, I turn to glance up. The sky is fresh and blue, a few clouds dot it.

"Kurt… Is it… " I stop talking not really knowing what I want to even ask in the first place but I just inhale sharply again. "Nevermind." I shut my eyes. I guess he lets what I said go because everything goes silent. I can hear him breathe now, and his heart rate is so soft. I know what this is from though… When I took over my friend Beth back at home… Whenever we were around each other she would breathe, or her heart would speed up around Michael and I could hear it. A connect to the people I link to I guess. Once you try to enslave people I guess it sticks. He is breathing… _In, out, in, out, in, out._ It's almost soothing.

"Nicole?" His voice is quieter now.

"Hm?" I ask reopening my eyes to the bright sky. Glancing over at Kurt he is sitting looking over at me. My heart rate skips a few times.

"You're face is red." He notes once again in a matter-o-factly tone. My cheeks feel hot now, reaching up I rub my palm against them trying to cool them off.

"Yeah…" I giggle nervously hearing my voice actually crack.

"I make you nervous don't I?" Kurt asks looking downwards. He has a serious expression on his face which makes him look older.

"Yeah you do but I think it's because… I've never been around a mutant like you before." I nod standing up. Brushing my jeans on I turn away. "I mean, you're blue but it's not a bad nervousness." I try to make him feel a little better.

"Oh?" He looks confused but stands as well. I shrug my shoulders playfully slugging him in his shoulder. If he looks anymore nervous I swear I'll faint. I hate being around people like him. It's almost like breathing in pure air that strangles you.

"I um—"

"Nicky!" Alison's voice makes me stop turning about to look at her walking over with Jubilee and Rouge.

"Hey guys." I wave dropping my hand back to my side. Her cheerfulness makes me tired again.

"Hey Kurt, you seen Kitty?" Jubilee asks.

"She is, um, " His eyebrows crunched up then he shrugs back peddling from us. "I'll see you around Ja?" He bamfs.

"You and Kurt dating?" Rouge asks with a smirk but I know she is referring to what I stupidity asked inside. I choke out a laugh.

"So are you getting classes?" Alison asks linking her arm around mine leading me back towards the inside.

"I should." I say looking back up at the sky. She keeps talking about how much fun I'll have here and for once, I actually smile and it doesn't feel so forced.


	2. Chapter 2

__Next chapter. Sorry it took so long. Next one will be up soon!  
Nicole is mine, X-men is Marvel's.

Keep on rolling.

* * *

_Close enough to start a war_  
_All that I have is on the floor_  
_God only knows what we're fighting for_  
_All that I say, you always say more_

_I can't keep up with your turning tables_  
_Under your thumb I can't breathe_

_So, I won't let you close enough to hurt me_  
_No, I won't rescue you to just desert me_  
_I can't give you the heart you think you gave me_  
_It's time to say goodbye to turning tables_  
_To turning tables_

_Under haunted skies I see you (ooh)_  
_Where love is lost your ghost is found_  
_I braved a hundred storms to leave you_  
_As hard as you try, no, I will never be knocked down, whoa_

_I can't keep up with your turning tables_  
_Under your thumb I can't breathe_

_So, I won't let you close enough to hurt me,_  
_No, I won't rescue you to just desert me_  
_I can't give you the heart you think you gave me_  
_It's time to say goodbye to turning tables_  
_Turning tables_

_Next time I'll be braver_  
_I'll be my own savior_  
_When the thunder calls for me_  
_Next time I'll be braver_  
_I'll be my own savior_  
_Standing on my own two feet_

_I won't let you close enough to hurt me,_  
_No, I won't rescue you to just desert me_  
_I can't give you the heart you think you gave me_  
_It's time to say goodbye to turning tables_  
_To turning tables_  
_Turning tables, yeah_  
_Turning, oh_

I click off the machine opening my eye's to see the sun rays from the window. I wipe the sweat from my face pulling out my headphones then stepping down from the Hill Machine; I ran 9 miles. Looking into the large mirrors hanging on the wall my body looks better now. The light blue shorts look good on my newly tanned skin and I like my very own X shirt. The training room is quiet without my music and the lack of people in here. It's been a week since I've been here and I'm starting to get used to it. I guess it doesn't shock me that no one else is awake at 5 AM. School doesn't start until 8 although I can only think of few people who might be up... Swiping my arm across my sweaty forehead my whole body aches from that run now. Going into the small bathroom I unfold my clothes peeling off my sweaty gym ones to replace them with jean. My shirt has an X on the chest also. My toes hook onto the back of my sneaker pushing it off then repeating that I get the other one off. I just slip my feet into my boots dropping my clothes into my bag then tossing it into the corner with a few others. Crossing the room I go to the door. Hunching forward my hip bumps the door open. The hallway actually smells better than the training room…walking farther into the hall seeing a few random students walking around. One catches my eye and I'm sure I just got his.

"Guten Morgen Nicole!" Kurt's always so cheery when I see him; it almost kind of bugs me. However he looks so awake at this time that I have to lean against the wall.

"Guten? Oh! Now I'm hungry for some good cheese!" I giggle seeing his face twist in confusion. Mentally I'm smacking myself in the face for ever saying that… Bad joke.

"It means good morning Nicole, we've been over this ja?" Kurt half smiles folding his arm over his chest his body turning to walk forward. Pushing up with my elbow I follow him.

"Yes, we have!" I agree before both our bodies turn towards the kitchen; our daily planner has really been close to each other. Breakfast, small talk, walk around outside, sit down, I nearly pass out, he wakes me... and Class starts then lunch and more class afterwards before bed...I blink twice looking around to see Logan sitting where he always is and drinking coffee. I nearly yelped hearing my favorite jazz song- Le Jazz Hot. I start to hum it as I go for the bacon and eggs. The good thing about this place is that there is always someone who is up before you and they cook breakfast for tons of people. I snatch a plate up scooping up some eggs from the pan then plucking up from bacon. I wiggle my hips reaching over to turn up the radio a little louder; glancing over my shoulder I see Kurt is watching me with great amusement on his face. I sway lighting from one side to the other. I rock my body more before singing lowly to the song.

"Oh baby, won't you play me Le Jazz Hot maybe, And don't ever let it end! I tell you friend, it's really something to hear! I can't sit when I hear that when that there's that rhythm near me!" I giggle letting Kurt's cheery mood consume my tired one. Setting the plate to the table my foot steps closer to where he is leaning against the table drinking a mug of something.

"Oh, so baby, Le Jazz Hot maybe, what's holding soul together. Don't know whether it's morning or night..." I stop before swaying my hips stepping away from him. He keeps laughing at me! I spin around and slid my body to one side. I feel so silly but it feels great for once! Someone is clapping as I freeze turning to see Remy leaning against the wall, a bright grin on.

"Don't stop. I was jus' startin' to l'ke what you we're doin' chere!" He smiles but I cross my arms over my chest. It is too early for me to handle Remy being… Well him. He has to be a huge flirt…No wonder Rouge smacks him all the time.

"Yeah, Well I only dance for..." My eyes widen as I point to myself "ME!" I cover my mouth before shaking my head. I curtly pull out a chair sitting down once again my cheeks feel hot.

"You gotta change dat Chere, I'd love to see you dance."

"I thought it was interesting Nicole." Kurt says in his cute accent. I smile and nod to him before locking eyes with Logan, I can't believe I forgot he was here! My heart pounds deep in my chest as Logan just huffs. Actually… He was so quiet sitting near the window I hadn't noticed him being in here or even caught his scent.

"Teens."

"Com'on cher! I ain't said I don't l'ke it!" Remy is sitting down besides from me with a plate stacked with pancakes.

"Well, Why not have someone else dance for you?" I snap harsher than I meant before shoving in eggs into my mouth. He doesn't even seem the least be upset by this.

"How' bout next song ya dances and I stays quite ya?" He inches the chair next to me. I turn my head out the window watching two birds fly around each other.

"How about Nicole goes and knocks you outside?" I lock eye's Remy; his dark red eye's flash as I inch closer to his face. "I'm sure you're just doing this to make Rouge jealous."

"I ain't gotta get her jealous…" He looks very confused, it's cute.

"How about gumbo and you quite down so I can watch the news?" Logan snaps annoyed I look up at screen only seeing the weather woman explain that today was going to be chilly. Logan looks upset by this as if he was just waiting for someone to need the team. That man seriously needs a hobby!

"I got study to do. See you around Nicole." Kurt says quickly standing up dumping his dishes into the sink then rounding the corner. My eyes narrow ever so slightly as I look over at the clock then at Remy.

"Did that seem weird to you?"

"'Dat he's studyin'?" Remy questions shrugging both shoulders but a sly grin spreads on his face. "Ain't no shame in bein' jealous chere."

"Oh jealous of what? The books Kurt is about to spend time with? You're right Remy. Sooo jealous!" I quip in a drastic tone. Still, that was really odd... My eyes glance along the walls before falling back onto my food. Suddenly I'm not hungry. "I might go back to take a nap."

"And leave me alone?" Remy asks innocently.

"Oh you aren't alone... You got Logan." I wink my left eye scooting my plate towards the center of the table. Slowly I slide my chair out standing up to start walking out of the room. Both of my arms fold over my mid section as I walk down the hallway. I need more friends that I feel close to besides Kurt... Alison is really nice and spending time with her is cool. Jubilee is also pretty friendly and Rogue might act cold but she's overall alright. I sit down pressing my back against the cool glass window, this window is my favorite it shows the garden down below. My eyes shut letting my body fully relax on the bench. Someone's heart is racing. _thump-lub-dub-thump-lub-dub..._

"I know that..." I turn around looking down into the garden, on the bench next to the large fountain is Kitty with Kurt. He has a wide fang smile on his face, laughing at her. She flips her hair over her shoulder before pointing at the book settled on her lap. She says something and he cracks up again. Kurt's tail sways behind him like a puppy's would when someone mentions a walk. His heart is racing, I can feel it. Annoying how that goes. My stomach twists tightly. Both my hands clench into fists as I stand up turning on my heels right back towards the gym. My stomach twists again knotting it self up like a rope.

"Hey Nicky! What are you doing up?" Alison is chipper with some baggy sweat pants on and a bag thrown over her shoulder.

"I'm always up at this time." I grumble forcing my self to not turn back around but my teeth grind together. "I have a question..."

"Sure shoot?" Alison has a concerned expression.

The words bubble in my throat swooshing around then dropping down into my stomach like rocks. "Nothing..." I force a smile but I'm sure it didn't look right.

"Right." Alison reaches over patting my shoulder like she understands, "Listen, there was something I wanted to say but I wasn't sure my gut feeling was right..."

"What are you talking about?" My stomach twists again.

"You need a makeover."

I nearly fall right on the spot from sheer shock. A nervous laugh floods from the both of us. "What?"

"It always cheers me up when I feel upset about anything! Some fresh new clothes or just putting my hair up."

"Riiiiight." I sigh shrugging my shoulders, her arm links with mine as she leads me away from the gym. She is talking about all the things we'll try out on my hair. It sounds weird hearing about beauty tips. Laughter fills the whole hall and Alison turns both our bodies around to see Kitty and Kurt walking away from us. Her hand is in his, my stomach knots up.

My mouth feels dry suddenly as I yank myself free of Alison's arm. Suddenly I'm turning around, running right around the door and smack into someone. My whole body aches.

"Whoa!"

"Sorry," I mutter releasing a tired sigh. Bobby is the one I just smacked into. His hair is covered in frost and he looks half awake.

"It's okay... Are you okay? Really should quit running into people." Yeah he's the one I bumped into on the first day as well... I shrug stepping around his body to continue on my way to my room.

"Where're you going?" Bobby wonders, "It's the weekend shouldn't you be all excited to spend it with your boyfriend?" Bobby is mocking me now.

"Shut up!" I snap crossing my arms until confusion hits, "Wait... What boyfriend?"

"Remy?" bobby is folding his arms now leaning against the wall but I can't even correct him. That's too funny. My stomach hurts enough but I'm laughing now.

"Very funny." I giggle gripping my stomach, "No seriously who?"

"No one I just wanted a reaction. Listen if you don't have any plans with Kurt then maybe we could go a few rounds in the Danger Room. 'Sides Kitty is too busy to even help me out."

"Yeah... Busy with Kurt." I bite my lip. "Sure." I wait for Bobby to move but he is giving me a weird look.  
"Earth to Bobby! Come in Bobby!"

"You're so jealous of Kitty and Kurt dating!"

"DATING?!" I nearly choke but Bobby is laughing now, my fist swings up hitting his shoulder as hard as I could. "Don't laugh at me!"

"Sorry sorry! Geez didn't know you liked blue."

"I don't. We're just friends…. I just don't really connect with anyone else but.. him." My voice trails off but I've felt this protective over my friends before. My friend Beth had a boyfriend who'd keep her away from me for long times… It sucked not having her around.

"Meet me outside the Danger Room in ten." Bobby says turning back into his room. Suddenly Logan's scent is near me, looking over my shoulder he looks angry. I am chasing after him before my mind catches up.

"What's going on?" I ask but he just grunts.

"Animal attack. Actually Victor. Nearby city." He grunts I reach out grabbing his arm.

"You have to let me go."

"No kid, you're staying here!" He barks keeping his pace up. Turning on my heels I take off down the hall following Logan's scent. In the short time being here I want to say Logan and I have only got a little closer but it so quiet between us. Skidding around a corner the scent leads to a door. I open the door to see him packing. He doesn't turn to me or give me a rude glare just keeps packing "Listen kid, this has nothing to do with you." He says before walking over to the closet. I feel my heart pick up a quick pace before I grip my hands into tight fists.

"This has a lot to do with me! He killed my mother." My voice goes lower with the last part but he doesn't seem to care.

"That ain't got nothing to do with me kid."

"Stop calling me KID! Last time I check I wasn't a kid! I'm 16 and guess what? I'm going with you whether you like it or not! I'm..." My whole body is aching to just scream it at him; to just yell at him...to maybe slap him afterward but this isn't a movie. It isn't going to just fix itself when I tell him; two things might happen. One he just doesn't believe me or two he doesn't care what so ever.

"Your?" He lifts his bag onto his shoulder walking past me.

Briskly turning my form charges after him "Please do me this ONE favor maybe I can help...Please." My voice shakes I wait for him to turn and face me but he doesn't. I stop following him watching him walk down the hall.

Suddenly he stops and faces me "Are you coming or not?" He asks a little annoyed but I smile and walk after him. "You aren't going to get anything?"

"What you think is this going to take a long time?" I keep my pace matching with his like when I was younger. "Besides if I go back to my room Kurt might flash in and try to talk sense into me." If he isn't too busy with Kitty… Logan doesn't comment as he opens the door to the both walk into the back he slightly smiles seeing the bike. It was a secret gleam in his face. How did he leave before losing his memories? Did he have a normal life up in Canada? I nod towards it. We both get on as it creeks; I can hear it loud in my ears as we're moving. I rest my hand against his back. I can see it; I stare at the tree's passing us quickly...I can almost see my mother's face in the trees. Her warm smile,

"_I am always with you."_

No momma you're not here right now. "_Yes, baby."_

I shut my eyes letting the rocking the bike makes my mind wonder from thing to thing. I think I should learn how to dance better...I really want to learn German for Kurt. I think Rouge and I should train more...I think of how Kitty and I should try to work harder in the Danger Room—OH no! I forgot about Bobby! Victors scent is everywhere… Everywhere and so close I gag. Something crunches. My body racks. There is white.

"NICOLE!" Logan's voice? Or is that Logan's voice...maybe it's my own mind going nuts. My body hurts now; Ouch! Everything feels hot...no heavy...no…both, everything is black. I can't even blink. My arms feel numb or maybe those are my legs.

"Nicole?"

My head keeps spinning as my version finally focus on Logan's bloody face. I sit up looking around. People are running around like crazy people and there are a few fires in different places.

"Where are the zombies?" I ask rubbing my hand over the thick cuts on my arms as they slowly heal up. Logan looks around again as if he is waiting for someone to kill us both.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asks as my eyes sting; I wipe them quickly. The smoke in the air is really starting to hurt my eyes.

"What?" I mutter hazily. "What are you talking about?" Something is flying towards us. I jump up but something is pulling me up by the arm and into something hard.

"I've got her!" Some dude yells I turn up to see a green dude who smells worse than a swamp. I grow my nails cutting the rope and dropping down. I wince from the drop but I can smell it. Uncle is super close. I twist my leg up and around making contact to Victor's large body. My eyes widen when he grabs my foot and flings me into something- OUCH!

"BASTARD!" I scream stumbling from a wall. I think it was a wall he just bashed my head against...

"Nicole," A hand is on my shoulder pulling me somewhere.

"What happened?" I ask slowly before I can smell Kurt's scent everywhere. Nothing is making sense. How did everything shift from one thing to the next? The burning town around me is fuzzy. I know something is going on but it's just colors and shapes right now.

"We got attacked but I'll explain later! Gumbo take her and get away from here NOW!" Logan is yelling as I can smell Remy everywhere around me; He body is swaying or maybe he is running or maybe...that's my head.

I shut open my eyes watching the tree's over head shift from one spot to another. Oh my head. Swirls of colors mix against blue.

"It's gonna be okay chere I gotcha." Remy is panting.

I want to answer back but nothing is coming out...My throat is thick like peanut butter was force fed to me. The blue keeps swirling up with greens. My stomach does flips making me want to bend over to puke. Waves upon waves of nausea crash into my stomach.

_ There is warm air, cold breeze, the sun hiding behind rolling clouds with swirls of colors everywhere. A distance laugh then a distance shout. My feet are moving all their own through a forest. The underbrush is rough against my feet leaving small scratches against my ankles and the leaves are crunching lightly. The tree's sway with each breeze and they make a rustling sound.  
"Nicole come here honey!" It's my mother's voice so now I'm running. I'm running to a place I've never seen. It's beautiful and green. Canada, at least I think that's where I am. Smokey smell fills the air. Everything is burning now. The trees so beautiful and green melt into puddles. My throat is stinging and I open my mouth to scream._

_When is this haze going to clear?!_


End file.
